How To Make Up Your Own Damn Holidays

Picture 4
Celebrating my Grandma Helen’s birthday with a snowflake cookie yesterday.

We made it to January.

Everywhere I’ve been lately, from the morning conversations over coffee to the chats with the girls at the local shops, I’ve heard it over and over:  “Thank God the holidays are over.”

I personally enjoy holidays, but I know that there are a lot of expectations packed into them.  Many holidays have been turned into corporate commercialism and panicked consumerism.  Hell, we know that greeting card companies have created holidays to sell product.  So what do we do?

We make our own calendars – our own holidays.

In the first year I knew Burke, I created a calendar of our romance.  I typed it all out, put a picture of us on it and taped it to our fridge.  I went back through my journal and picked out dates that were significant to us.  In our personal calendar of holidays – I included:

  • The day we first met
  • The day of our first kiss
  • The first time we adventured out of the country together
  • The date of our first road trip
  • The day we moved in together
  • The day he wrote me a poem for the first time
  • The day he told me he loved me for the first time

Because it was on our fridge, I would notice it all the time.  I would look to see which “holiday” was coming up again soon, and I would add more as the years went on…

  • The day that he asked me to marry him
  • The day he won his first directing award
  • The day we bought our little cottage together
  • The day that Niney came into our life
  • The day that I did my first burlesque show
  • The day that had a final of the Revolver script that we wrote together
September 19, 2011. The day the foundation was poured to our new house. Burke’s print is on the left, mine is on the right and Niney’s paws are all around us.

These are all important days to us personally.  Important moments that have shaped our lives thus far.  When we come to these days, these special little anniversaries of life moments, we celebrate them, we stop and take notice, we recognize the positive impact that they’ve had on our life.

In the past, I’ve gone through diaries I wrote, old emails, old ticket stubs to piece together days that I’ve met friends who have made lasting impact on my life.  I’ve looked through my iphoto for dates next to pictures of shows that I’ve done that have been my favorites, or to see the dates I stepped foot into countries I’ve never been to before.  I even traced back to the day I started going to my favorite coffee place in Brooklyn that I begin every morning in when I’m in town.

Me and my Twin Sister, Our Lady J. I will never forget the day we met – November 12, 2011 in Australia. She is a huge inspiration and has had an incredible impact on my life.


These are all pieces of the story of my life, the map of my existence.

March 26, 2012. The first time I ever saw the Eiffel Tower sparkle AND the first time I ever went to the top! I ran up in heels with my pal, French Fry.

I’m probably getting sentimental about dates because tomorrow is one of my favorite dates in the whole wide world.  The day this one was born…..

My true love, Burke Heffner.

So tell me…what are some things that you would put in your own personal calendar?

What moments and people and life “firsts” have been important to you?

Curious to hear about them…….






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