How To Write the Sexiest, Most Passionate Love Letter Ever…to Yourself.

I have penned flowing cursive with luscious words to people that I’ve been madly in love with, to people I’ve had wild inspiration crushes on, to people who have adventured with me in gutters all over the world as my dear friends….
love letter

I have pressed the pen to paper in a hot, frenzy of utter adoration.
I have pressed my lip prints to some leaving a trace of me behind.
I have folded these notes into eighths like a schoolgirl and slid them under doors, into suitcases, into my perfumed envelopes and I have pressed them into palms.

Love letter writing is my art. Seduction and words, my paint. The kiss prints, the perfume spritz, the folding and sealing, the secret delivery of them….my drugs.

I have passionately bitten the corners of love letters leaving my teeth marks upon them.
I have poured drops of my morning nutmeg sprinkled lattes on them when I’m half way across the world from my Lover.
I have pouted and pressed my blood red lipstick kisses on them.
I have seared their corners with the flames of magic candles that I made with my own hands.
I have smeared their ink with drops of my tears.
I have licked the name of the person I wrote it to….to hold the letters of their name in my mouth a little bit longer….

The wandering moments when writing can become a wild fetish.
Scrawled black ink staining a perfect cream page.
Knowing the Recipient’s fingers will trace the same folds that my hands made in the paper.
Knowing that eyes will take in all the loops and curves of my hand-writing…the magics of my meaning.

A note to my Lover even survived our house fire. Proof that it’s hotter than fire itself.

Confession: I have written these notes for years. But it was only 3 years ago, when I turned that pen on myself.

Perhaps it was long overdue.

I got out my favorite cream colored paper and spritzed my red bottle of Gucci Rush on it. I waved it in the air to dry, like I’ve done a million times before. Waiting to be inspired by the sultry scent of it.

And then I pressed my pen to the paper and was…..

Where to begin? It felt stupid maybe. Trite. A love letter to myself. Why bother?

But as one of my heroes, Ru Paul, loves to say: “If you can’t love yourself, how the hell you gonna love somebody else?….

Can I get an amen?

Even though it felt silly, I made myself do it that first time. And when I was done, I felt exhilarated. There, in my own hand, in permanent ink, were praises I sang to myself for the first time, were things I was proud of, were things I thought made me the most unique.

I loved this exercise.
I made Andrea Martin do it on international television on MTV’s MADE with me.
I make the women who come to my workshops do it.
I’ve made my friends do it.

Bonus Points: Share your love letter with someone you trust. They will always add things that you have forgotten or incredible things you just don’t see about yourself.

How do you even begin?

1. Get beautiful paper to write on and a perfect pen. Lately I’ve been using an antique cream 30lb paper for my letters and a deep purple ink pen.

2. Spritz your scent on the paper before you write (so it doesn’t smear the ink afterwards). Fan the paper back and forth in your face, and close your eyes to take in the scent. Let it inspire you.

3. Step back and think about what you love about yourself. What makes you YOU? What makes you unique, interesting, sizzling, different, awesome, lovely, adventurous, passionate? Even though it feels silly, write it down. You know the stories from people who have died and come back to life…when they say that when they are leaving their body, it is only at that moment that they realize how amazing they were? It is only at that moment that they felt love for this being that they were on earth for that period of time.

Well this is your time, Baby. This is your body. This is your life. And this is your letter to celebrate it.

If you are getting stuck, you should absolutely check out this brilliant post which includes a love letter that sassy seductress, Kitty Cavalier wrote and shared in one my classes. When she read it out loud, everyone in class sighed with appreciation. It was gorgeous and liberating.

Would you like to be really brave? Share 4 lines of a love letter to yourself in the comments below. One random person will win a love letter (sent via snail mail) from me. AND if you would like to be enchanted further…. I will be teaching my very first workshop of 2013 on March 23rd in NYC – the Journey of Seduction at Kitty’s School of Charm and Cheek. Because I’ve slated 2013 to work on my film and my book proposal – teaching will be a rare treat. I hope you can join me…this is what happened last time and it was hot.


Can’t wait to read snippets of your love letters…


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.