Adventures In Spring Cleaning: How To Attack Your Closet With A Vengence

It’s Springtime in Brooklyn.  And the warm weather makes us want to throw out half the things we own and run half naked through street sprinklers (i.e. illegally opened fire hydrants).

I can’t help you get half naked. But I can help you attack your closet.

1.  This is a job to be done with one of my favorite drugs…. Music.   So, please, hit play on my very first 8 track mix (thanks for the tip, Gala Darling!) and enjoy the random picture of me passed out under clothing racks taken by Burke Heffner.

I’m not explaining it.

2.  Speed Sort – It’s like Speed Dating Your Closet.   Grab the first item in your closet and in a two-second gut reaction proceed to throw clothing item in question into one of three piles on your bed:  “Yes”, “Maybe” or “Hell No”.

    • “Yes” pile:  if you love wearing it, it fits you right and makes you happy.
    • “Maybe” pile: if it’s been sitting there with no action from you for six months or more.
    • “Hell No” pile: if you bought it, brought it home, felt guilty, and kept it there because you felt bad about buying it.  It’s clothing.  It doesn’t have feelings.  Ditch it.

3. Rejoice in the Void.  Oh, you Saintly Thing.  Empty closet of cleanliness.  Ignore “Maybe” and “Hell No” and just say “Yes”.  Carefully put all the absolute 100% “Yes” pile on your bed – back on the rack.  Notice how cute your closet looks.  Notice how much room you just made for more 100% future YES clothes to join their friends here.  They would get along nicely.  Closet Fairy Godmother swoops in and allows you to pick 3 of your favorite things from the “Maybe” pile.  It is a struggle.  But you listen to her, for she is wise.

4. Release The Rest of Your Treasures into the Wild.   Donate, swap clothes with friends, or get your other friends to all do this together and team up to throw the clothing party of the CENTURY.

Wanna come to our party? *ahem!  More-vintage-slips-burlesque-costumes-vintage-hats-and-jewelry-than-you-can-deal-with…*

vintage-awesomeAnnouncing GOLDMINE – a wild closet raiding extravaganza!   Miss Scorpio @gemini_scorpio (event producer/promoter/curator extraordinaire with a closet to die for), myself and a bunch of our burlesque, designer, and cabaret circus friends are teaming up and opening our closets to the world!

When: The Sunday, May 19th!
Why: Miss Scorpio is fundraising for the Gemini and Scorpio Loft – a badass art space project now on Kickstarter and I am selling to fund the final push of re-building our upstate home that we lost to a fire.  We thought this would be a fun day to get together with some friends and create a dress-up dream sale! It’s going to be costume/vintage/custom/designer clothing heaven!
How: Click Here for all the juicy details.

This is Miss Scorpio.  And her closet is YUM.
This is Miss Scorpio. Clothes and Girl – YUM.

So Lovely Dangers….tell me about your closet clearing tips.   What would be in your wild clothes flinging music mix?  Have you held clothing swaps or parties?  Or share a picture of one of your favorite snags from a friend’s closet or party…..

I snagged this faux fur cream coat from my neighbor, Lucille, who told me stories of rocking it out in the 60s before she passed it along to me.  It has been in the gutter with me and all over the country on a tour bus….and of course, chillin’ with my lovely artist friend, Miss Zelda Devon.


Can’t wait to share style stories with you!


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