He called me “Showgirl.”
In real life, I was a “temp” office worker who took an assignment for 3 weeks and ended up being there for 3 years.
He knew what I really wanted to be though.
On a rooftop in Brooklyn, while we watched the sunset, he had dared to ask.
Who did I want to become? What were my secret desires? What would I hope to accomplish in my life? What made me tick?
I had originally dreamed of being an actress. However, after going through tons of auditions, some successful, some not…I had realized that:
- The majority of the roles available for women were lame as hell.
- I was really not down with having a bunch of people sitting behind a table pass judgement if I was good enough or not.
I confided all of this.
And I knew what I needed to do.
Write my own damn story.
He asked more questions. He helped me brainstorm on how to take my performing dreams back. He inspired me to think beyond what my idea of what being an actress was.
I loved to write, I confessed. I loved to create characters and stories. I had a secret dream of writing my own screenplay.
Do it. He urged. I’ll help you.
In a moment of what some would call weakness, and others would call bold, I pulled my personal journal out of my bag and read a piece of a story. It was a fictionalized version of me and him.
In it, I was a showgirl.
“A showgirl? I could see that.”
“And she’s on the run.” I added.
“Yep. I can see that, too.”
So back then, when I was punching a clock and conforming to dress codes in corporate world, he would whisper….”Hey, Showgirl….” through the receiver of my standard issue boring black phone in my cubicle.
He saw me for the me I wanted to be….and not the me that I was.
Talking about my fantasies and my deepest desires made me want to act on them.
I was hooked.
It was our version of Truth AND Dare. We told the truths of what we wanted and dared each other to do it.
Now it was his turn to confess to me.
He wanted to be a storyteller through film, through photography, through spoken word. We would stay up late into the night as he told me epic tales that he had created, stories that he had worked on for years.
I knew there was a way that we could lift up each other….a way we could team up together and be stronger than we could be on our own.
He wanted to experiment with photography. I became his model. I donned a Salvation Army wedding dress and got in a roadside swamp in Florida.
He wanted to direct and write. I wanted to write and act. We schemed up the beginnings of our screenplay,Revolver, sitting on his fire escape. We would spend hours going back and forth in the fantasy world we created of the lead characters, Pocket and Blue. Until they almost seemed like they were us.
One of the most crucial secrets of what started our love affair and what continues to drive it is that we help each other to continue to grow into the people that we want to be. We share our most intimate dreams, things we might not say out loud to anyone else, and we help each other in any way humanly possible to make those dreams come true.
He believed in the best version of me, and I believed in the best version of him.
And then they set the world on fire…..
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Crushing on someone who’s just a friend right now?
Get them to talk about their dreams.
Ask them about their deepest desires in life.
Brainstorm with them on how to make it a reality.
Help them by any means necessary.
Everyone wants to feel believed in. If you can see another person’s potential, see what you can to do to help make that happen (while also making your own dreams happen). What’s a more sizzling combination than you and your crush against the world together?
And winning……
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If you missed the first part of How To Snag Your Secret Crush – head over here.
What are some gorgeous ways you’ve snagged your crush? Have you tried things that have failed miserably or have been an absolute success? I wanna hear about it in the comments.
xo
