From making my living as a burlesque performer for the past six years,
I’ve learned secrets of how to engage and intrigue from a distance.
Here are three of my favorite secrets to really cast a love spell on your crush.
These 3 techniques aren’t limited to the stage, they can work in an office, classroom, bar, or bedroom.
Secret Number 1: Come a Little Closer… the Scientific and Sensual Effect of a Whisper.
Close your eyes and think about it – the last time someone brushed inches away from your ear and whispered.
Whispering means a secret….
and everyone loves secrets.
It also means…this is just for you. We are co-conspirators.
I’m whispering so that no one else can hear my words but you – which packs a sensual punch.
It’s so saucy and triggers wild chemicals in our brains – it even has a name: Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response (ASMR). This term was coined to describe ‘a sensory experience characterized by a pleasant tingling sensation in the head and scalp’.
Whispering does just that.
Living in New York City, with construction sounds, honking, loud voices and music – I’ve learned to block a lot of sounds out. But a whisper will get me hyper-focused – and snap me to attention in a second. On Steady Health, the phenomena of whispering was known to create an “Attention Induced Head Orgasm” (AIHO).
TIP: Wanna wrap your crush around your finger?
While everyone else is shouting for attention at a bar or club, draw in closer….
Secret Number 2: Scent and Sensuality.
Scent is a notorious tool of seduction. 75% of our emotions are triggered by smell, according to studies by the Social Issue Research Centre.
Do you want to linger in a lover’s mind?
Time to hunt down a scent that best captures your essence.
Coco Chanel advised to “dab perfume where you want to be kissed.”
I run the oils through my feather fans before I perform on stage so the audience not only has a visual, but they have a sensory experience as well, as my scent is literally fanned through the theater.
Yesterday, Burke was packing up his camera gear to go take some high fashion mugshots, and I was working on a writing assignment. Suddenly, I was wolfing around the room – caught by a scent. I tried to figure out what it was, was it in a box I just opened, was it coming from my tea cup, was it on a letter in a stack of mail nearby? I tracked it down to Burke’s neck. He was trying on a new scent by Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab…it made me regret he had to leave so soon.
Wearing the same scent will have people recall that particular scent to you – even when you’re not around. So…dab that oil on a lover’s pillow to make them dream of you. Dab it on little notes or love letters that you send. Did you leave your scarf at a “friends” place? Be sure it smells like you.
Trust me on this one. It works.
Tip: Although it’s tempting, don’t pick a scent that is currently popular. You want to pick a scent that is distinguishable to you. I love oils for this purpose.
Secret Number 3: Put a Spell on them with your Eyes.
Eye contact is confidence. Don’t believe me? Try this on your crush.
When taking off a winter coat, people will look down as they pull their arms out of the sleeves.
We have taken off coats a million times.
We know how to do it, yet we all do the same thing.
To engage your crush, start to say hello and continue normal conversation while taking off your coat.
Use slow calm motions.
Maintain eye contact the entire time – never once looking away.
Slide the coat off and while still maintaining eye contact –
throw it on a chair beside you, without looking down.
Confidence is sexy. Eye contact is engaging. Emotionally, eye contact creates a shared experience. Before you were taking a break from conversation to ditch a winter coat. With eye contact, your crush is emotionally unbuttoning your clothes with you. In public, it can be a fantastic subtle suggestion. In private, when done right, emotional unbuttoning can quickly translate into physical unbuttoning…
You know what to do.
Go get ’em, Tiger.
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