How do I keep fighting for my dreams when I feel like giving up?
I know what it’s like….
I’ve felt the odds against me.
I’ve felt like I couldn’t get it right no matter how hard I tried.
But I keep swinging because all of my greatest heroes were once failures who didn’t give up.
Time to knock out the obstacles and the odds.
I’m here in your corner.
Cheering you on.
You. Have. GOT. This.
Fight Tip #1: When You Want To Give UP – KEEP GOING and you will push yourself through.
This is going to seem like fucked up logic, but if you are feeling like a failure right now, it means that you’re attempting something that you’ve never done before, something wilder and harder than you have imagined.
Burke and I have been putting together our film, Revolver for 10 years. We felt like we tried everything. Last year, we were almost ready to give up. We called out to the community in a last ditch attempt to make our dream happen on Kickstarter. The odds were almost insurmountable, and in that month we pushed harder than we ever had in our lifetime. All of us were able to achieve it together. Don’t give up. Tell everyone. Keep pushing.
I’m crying tears of joy in this video because I knew how close I was to giving up on this dream…..
Fight Tip #2: Don’t Let The Bastards Get You Down.
People that haven’t done it before love to tell you that it’s impossible or that it can’t be done. Unfortunately, also some people who we look up to or people in positions of power will tell us – we can’t do it.
I was told by my ballet teacher when I was 6 that I had “clouds behind my eyeballs and didn’t have the grace to dance”.
I left crying and never went back.
In fact, for years afterward, I would tell people I was a horrible dancer, because that was what I was told by a ballerina.
Eventually, a full decade later, I gravitated back to dance because it’s always been something I’ve wanted to do .
Now I make my living as an international burlesque performer dancing with feather fans.
Oh, and Miss Ballet Teacher when I was 6…..?
…You can suck it.
Fight Tip #3: Find Your Co-Conspirators.
Success is contagious.
Surround yourself with people you admire and who also believe in you.
Seek out people who are doing the things that you want to do and be inspired and encouraged by them.
One of the first burlesque shows I ever saw featured Jo Weldon.
I was struck by how she controlled the stage, captivated the audience and performed powerful and sensual burlesque.
I had to be her friend.
One day I was bold enough to ask her out for tea and we spent the whole time excitedly bouncing ideas off of each other about our wildest dreams.
Jo gave me my first teaching gig at The New York School of Burlesque and got me my audition at the Slipper Room which has since become my burlesque home. We lovingly support each other’s dreams….and in Jo, I found a dear sister, personal heroine and kick ass co-conspirator.
Remember: Your co-conspirators might not always be in person. You might live far away from some of the people you admire. Luckily, the internet gives us access to everything! Reach out. Ask questions. Make it happen.
Also, don’t forget to create your own Circle of Seven.
Fight Tip #4: Our Biggest Heroes Were Failures. Remind Yourself of People Who Have Overcome The Odds and Kept Going.
FACT: When google searching “unlikely success” – over 96 million results come up. Remember that when you are feeling like a failure, you are among the greats. Everyone feels like success is unlikely at one point or another!
♥ JK Rowling was on welfare, was contemplating suicide and had been rejected by major publishing houses before one of them decided to take a chance on her story of “Harry Potter”.
♥ Walt Disney was told he “lacked imagination and had no good ideas” as he was being fired by a newspaper editor. Later he was told Mickey Mouse would fail because women would be afraid of a gigantic mouse.
♥ In 1954, Elvis Presley played one show at the Grand Ole Opry. Jimmy Denny, the manager of the Opry said, “You ain’t goin’ nowhere… son. You ought to go back to drivin’ a truck.”
♥ Albert Einstein’s teacher described him as “mentally slow, unsociable and adrift forever in his foolish dreams.” He was turned down by the schools he most hoped to get into.
Fight Tip #5: When You Do The Thing You Love The Most, You Give a Gift Back To The World.
See the people listed above?
What would have happened if they let those things get in their way of success?
What would have happened if they just threw their hands up in defeat? We would have lost out on their gifts!
Most of the greatest music, science, stories, and art came from people that were told they couldn’t make it, had been rejected and felt like giving up themselves.
What would have happened if Jo Weldon didn’t push herself to do burlesque, inspire others and then go on to open a burlesque school? Perhaps the course of my life would have been changed, too.
If you are giving up on your dream…not only are you taking that gift away from yourself – you’re taking that gift away from the world.
Don’t you dare take your gift away from me.
I believe in you.
Now stop reading this blog and go kick some ass.